8 Ways to Absolutely Avoid House of Cards Spoilers

We don’t blame you – The Dress got to everyone. 

But now that we all know its true colours (it’s clearly white and gold and this is one giant conspiracy) it’s time to get back to things that actually matter, namely:

House. Of. Cards.

But since Netflix has obviously done its release-every-episode-at-once dance, you need to know how to make it until you have time to binge watch it, without being subject to spoilers.

That’s where we come in. Follow these 8 suggestions and we promise you won’t find out Frank is impeached until the proper time comes. (J/K everyone – we haven’t watched it yet either.)

1. Don’t Go On the Internet
Seriously. Why are you even here reading this? You never know when someone could link their favourite video of a “cat doing the cutest thing” and then BAM it’s actually Frank Underwood in episode 7. People are terrible on the Internet

2. Don’t Go Outside
Aside from the fact that it’s approximately negative 400 degrees outside, there are people EVERYWHERE. Any one of them could ruin your weekend with a simple line about the capitol.

3. Don’t Go to Work
If you’re already there – LEAVE RIGHT NOW. At least one of your co-workers got up at 6AM and watched the first 3 episodes and is dying to talk about them. Look around the office, you know who they are.

4. Buy a Ticket to Space
In space, no one can hear a spoiler.  

5. Yell Random Things
Nobody’s going talk to you if you’re screaming about architecture and Scooby-Doo. If no one’s talking to you, no one is going to ruin your weekend by telling you that Clare is… 

6. Buy a Bomb Shelter
These were big in the 50s for a reason. Buy it, move into it and live there until you have time to watch all of Season 3. Probably bring some supplies. And by supplies we mean popcorn, wine, and pyjamas.

7. Learn to Hypnotize Yourself
It’s the perfect solution. If someone spoils it for you, you’ll have the power to make it all go away.

8. Knock on Wood
Face it, you’re screwed. You’re going to hear something and it’s going to be terrible – but here’s to hoping.             


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