The first few dates are critical.
If you mess them up, you could be ruining what could be a life-changing relationship before it even starts.
Whether you’re new to the dating scene after the demise of a long-term relationship, or date on the regular like it’s a sport, there are some mistakes you definitely shouldn’t make during the first few dates.
Don’t Hold Back
One of the best things you can do is be clear about your intentions and what you’re looking for off the bat – whether that’s a casual hookup situation or a long-term, sustainable relationship. If you’re in search of something serious and the other person isn’t, it’s better to find out before feelings develop.
Don’t Silence Yourselves
There is absolutely no point in going to a movie or a play on the first few dates. Doing so will give you something to discuss afterwards, but those precious few hours spent staring straight ahead in silence could be used to actually get to know the other person. Save the silence for your friends or for when dating turns into a relationship.
Don’t Be So Typical
Aside from getting to know one another over coffee, a drink or a meal, some of the best date ideas in the very early stages involve an interactive element; that bring out the true, raw character of the other person, free of the restrictions of the typical job interview-esque date. Check out some of the best interactive date ideas in Toronto here.
Don’t Do the Hotspot
Don’t go to your city’s latest hotspot for a first date – probably an even worse idea than the play or film. Not only are you likely to bump into someone you know, you won’t be as focused on the other person as you become preoccupied with the décor, menu and the crowd (and trying to hide your face from the people you know). Need more reasons? Check them out here.
Don’t Be So Closed-Minded
In today’s dating culture of seemingly limitless app-facilitated options, it’s easy to be hyper critical on a first date. I know people who declined a second date because they didn’t like the other person’s clothing, haircut or laugh. The best thing to do is to keep an open mind; sometimes the strongest connections are the most unexpected ones. If you’re still dating in the first place, clearly your “type” isn’t working out for you (just sayin’).
Don’t Reach for Your Phone
If you can’t part with your phone for the few hours it will take before the date ends or he or she hits the bathroom, you have a problem. Answering text messages or checking social media during dates makes you appear disinterested (even if you’re not), inattentive and, frankly, rude. Of course, it’s even worse to pick up a phone call. Even if it’s your mom calling, you can call her back once the date is over.
Dating in our cities is difficult enough – don’t make it any harder on yourself.