We can all agree that 50 Shades of Grey really wasn’t that great, right? Right.
And the only thing that could make something not that great even worse is, of course, an even more disappointing movie. Check.
So how do you polish a turd – albeit a inexplicably popular one – exactly? You give it some nerd, that’s how.
That’s precisely what one should-be author has done through a hilarious Twitter account that goes by the name of ’50 Nerds of Grey’. Using excerpts from the book, they complete each erotic passage with a super geeky remarks fit for a virgin.
Sure, it’s stereotyping an entire population of the high IQ’d, but we’ll be damned if it isn’t for a noble purpose. Check it out:
She squirmed excitedly as he leaned over and whispered softly in her ear, ‘Asdfg . . hjkl . . uiop.’
She loved it when he talked Qwerty.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) April 22, 2016
‘How do you feel about chains?’ she whispered, stroking his chest. He gulped. ‘I quite like Pizza Hut but I’m not so keen on McDonalds.’ — 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) April 17, 2016
‘So,’ she said, entering his bedroom, ‘This is where the magic happens.’
‘Oh yes,’ he smiled, putting on his Harry Potter glasses and cloak.— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) April 7, 2016
‘Harder!’ she screamed, ‘Harder!’ ‘All right,’ he said. ‘What’s the square root of nine times twelve divided by six point three recurring?’ — 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) March 24, 2016
‘It’s just too big!’ she cried. ‘It’s never going to fit!’
‘Of course it will,’ he grinned, ‘I’ve compressed the file.’— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) March 17, 2016
He was very careful during bondage sessions. He always used a safe word that contained upper and lower case letters and at least one number. — 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) January 10, 2016
‘Say bad things to me,’ she begged, ‘Bad, unforgivable things!’
‘OK’ he said, ‘The new Star Wars film isn’t as good as The Phantom Menace.’— 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) December 19, 2015
‘Take me to heaven!’ she cried. ‘I’d love to’ he said, ‘But it’s an artificial construct designed to assuage man’s guilt and fear of death.’ — 50 Nerds of Grey (@50NerdsofGrey) November 15, 2015
[ad_bb1]