24 Pics That Will Always Kill it on Instagram

Wikipedia calls Instagram an online mobile photo-sharing, video-sharing and social networking service that enables its users to take pictures and videos, and share them on a variety of social networking platforms, such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Flickr.

This is an oversimplification.

Instagram is today’s agency of social status, where the royalty launch business empires on latte art photos and peasants wallow in their inability to achieve a numeric like count (11). It’s the reason some of us get into the club and others don’t, what designates a photo of one’s ass as #inspo rather than simply unnecessary, and the leading cause of FOMO worldwide.

What makes this whole game called Instagram worthwhile is the pursuit of ‘likes’; guessing which combination of filter, framing, tags, caption, upload time and friend association will cause your followers’ thumbs to reflexively double tap. It’s neurotic, narcissistic and meaningless to our existence on earth – and yet, it is everything.

Here’s the thing: no perfect combination of the above will ever yield the same amount of likes as even the most average photo of particular items that adhere to the fundamentals of basic bitch/bro theory. Indeed, a photo of the first person drinking water on Mars cannot compete with one of a Victoria’s Secret angel smiling with a double cheeseburger hashtagged #cheatday.

Here are 24 other items you can upload that will always kill it on Instagram:

1. Bird’s eye view of coffee. But first, an upload on Instagram.

It has been perfect coffee shop weather lately

A photo posted by Steven Fingar (@stevenfingar) on

2. Sunday morning. Upload literally anything; tag it #sundays.

Just lying on the floor staring up at my shelves. As you do. #Sundays A photo posted by @lottelikesbooks on

3. A quote about Mondays. Just in case people don’t know what day it is.

A photo posted by PicLab HD (@piclab_hd) on

4. Significant others. So cute.

❤️❤️ – #Boyfriend #DidntKnowThereWasPictures #Unexpected #LoveHim #MoonAndBack #Smile A photo posted by \\ Jacquelynn Scarry // (@flyingreddun_1997) on

5. Smoothies. Bonus likes for every ingredient that should never be liquified.

6. Nike Roshes. Preferably on your feet, but also suitable on their original box.

Lunch ended up costing a little more that I expected… #newshoes #nike #nikeroche #pinknikes #happy #instagood

A photo posted by Chi Chi Revolver (@chichirevolver) on

7. Peonies. The biggest demographic on Instagram is teenage girls.

Who else is looking forward to Summer flowers almost in bloom? #peonies I’ve missed you…

A photo posted by Kerrie Hess Illustrator (@kerriehessillustration) on

8. Lounging by the pool. This shows you’re having a better day than most people.

9. Sushi. Food, shelter, water, sushi.

#Sushi moments

A photo posted by Lucia (@luciaperaldomatton) on

10. Doing something active. Health is a trend, duh.

11. More specifically, yoga. Folding your body in half is appreciable.

12. A sunset. Kills it. Every. Time.

13. The wing of a plane. It’s like aviation was just invented last week.

✈ #flying #fly #business #awesome #plane #djlife #hills #sun #sunset #beach #on #tour #gopro #canon #weekend

A photo posted by New Kidz On A Rave (@newkidzonarave) on

14. Brunch. Kill ’em with FOMO.

This French Toast is a solid 10/10 PC @hanny923 // 75 Main

A photo posted by Ctrl_Alt_DelEAT (@ctrl_alt_deleat) on

15. Pumpkin Spice Lattes. This’ll work until the world ends.

Cute as. #PSL #Starbucks #pumpkinspice #autumn

A photo posted by Aaron Cawood (@aaroncanteven) on

16. Pets. Better than humans.

“Well human, I’m all ready to go for a long walkies! Are you?”

A photo posted by @ginny_jrt on

17. Minimal shots. Hell, upload a white screen.

18. DJing. Yup, people still think you’re doing something really awesome.

Djing #topthreesix #soundcheck #edm #dj #djing #selfie #nice #party #music #deloft #nightlife

A photo posted by Top ThreeSix (@top_threesix) on

19. Old cars. Or other great vehicles that aren’t yours.

20. Yourself in fancy clothes. Especially effective for those who never wear fancy clothes.

21. Fast food. You don’t even have to eat it!

Le nouveau burger du clown. #mcdonalds #premium #nohealthyfood #fastfood #burger #grossecow

A photo posted by @marychachoue on

22. Palm trees. Do this mid-February.

Palm pop

A photo posted by matt@mattcrump.com (@mattcrump) on

23. A photo that reveals your proximity to a celebrity. Preferably with their acknowledgment of your existence.

24. Avocados. They’ve got this colour that just screams “like me.”

Easy like #Monday morning baked #avocado #eggs & #smokedsalmon

A photo posted by Alyssa Davis (@lyss_dav19) on