Do you really need an intro?
We’re pretty sure the title does a nice job of summing it up.
So without further ado, here are 17 reasons we prefer YYZ to NYC…
1. You Can Live in a Great “Downtown” Apartment Without Being Rich or Going Broke
According to recent number crunching, the average 1 bedroom apartment in Manhattan rents for about $3,000 a month, compared to the average $1,500 a month required in Toronto. Additional fun fact: only about 3% of the apartments in Manhattan have elevators…puuuulleeeeeease.
2. We Smell Better
Unlike our pals to the east, we don’t suffer from Metro B.O. Maybe that’s why they call it The Rotten Apple, or whatever it is. We think it might have something to do with the garbage situation…
3. Our Streets are Cleaner
“Ain’t no-bo-dy dope aaaas us, weee just so fresh so clean.” Well, we’re not as clean as Calgary, but we are way ahead of New York. Not even our homeless people litter. And if they do, they feel bad about it.
4. Our Streets (and Subways) are Safer
In 2013 New York’s homicide rate was almost DOUBLE Toronto’s. Now watch New Yorkers spin that and say they’re better than us at murder…
5. Our Streets Don’t Use a Schizophrenic Alpha-Numeric Naming System
Oh, you’re Apartment 125 at 145 East 35th, between 3rd and Lexington? Great – just give us a second to kill ourselves. We shouldn’t have to ace algebra and English to find our way around town. Toronto streets are perfectly happy sticking with letters and we, the residents, feel f@nt@5t!c about that.
6. You Might Actually Get a Cab Between 4-8pm
Let’s be honest; both cities are a nightmare for driving. But while our cabs might be a bit pricier (though UberX has already changed that) they are much more accessible in the city core when you most need them. In other words, it’s much easier to get around to bars for after-work drinks. Oh, and speaking of bars, it’s also much easier to get into them for some…
7. 19 and 20-Year-Olds Have WAY More Fun
HAVE FUN DRINKING ILLEGALY FOR YOUR FIRST 3 YEARS OF COLLEGE. To be fair, it’s not New York’s fault. In 1984, the Federal Government threatened to yank highway funding if they didn’t raise their drinking age from 19 to 21…but we’re in Canada, so that’s also not our problem.
8. We Didn’t Overdo the Whole “Speakeasy” Bar Theme
We understand; you think that bar is cool because it’s behind a secret barbershop and you need a Sicilian password just to order Bourbon from a pseudo-intellectual wearing a paisley vest. Now get over it, come to Toronto, and we’ll grab a cocktail somewhere normal where all our friends can get in.
9. We Always Make a Proper Manhattan
A true Manhattan calls for rye whisky, and if there’s one city that never fails to get that ingredient right, it’s Toronto. We are eternally honored to be members of the illustrious Canadian Club.
10. Our MLB and NBA Teams Are Lovable, Not Arrogant and Irritating
How many people do you know that hate the Blue Jays or the Raptors? How could you?? They’re such sweethearts! But The Yankees, The Knicks, and The Nets? Ew. We will admit that The Mets are kinda cute though…
11. They Have a Rodent Problem, We Have a Cute Problem
The rodent situation in New York is so bad they’re considering introducing a discounted subway fare specifically for rats. Ok, that’s not true but we’ll take our cute little attic-mice over their Ninja Turtle sewer-rats any day.
12. We Have an Airport Within Walking Distance of Downtown
We’ve seen getting to Lower Manhattan from JFK, Laguardia, and Newark take almost as much time as the flight to New York itself. But flying into Billy Bishop, it only takes te-…oh, wait, you’re already downtown.
13. Our Big Parks are Parky, Not Touristy
Visit High Park, you’re immersed in nature. Visit Trinity Bellwoods, you’re immersed in culture and exercise. Visit Central Park and you’re lucky if you don’t get trampled by a tour or a horse. It’s also starting to feel a little too movie-set-ish. This might seem like an exaggeration…but we think “exaggeration” is the perfect word for Central Park.
14. Our Neighbourhoods Don’t Have Pretentious Acronym-Nicknames
Wait, what does “NOLOMOHITO” stand for again? You know what, forget it. We’re going to Queen West. And speaking of which…
15. We Have the 2nd Coolest Neighbourhood on the Planet
If Vogue says Queen West is the 2nd coolest neighbourhood in the world, then Queen West is the 2nd coolest neighbourhood in the world…ahead of anywhere in the entire US. But then again, Vogue is kinda bias. You know, with Condé Nast being headquartered in New York and all…
16. TIFF
A lot of movie stars might go to New York to live, but every year all the stars come to Toronto to shine.
17. Muskoka Makes The Hamptons Look Like “The Bramptons”
Take the 400 only 2 ½ hours north and you couldn’t be more visually or psychologically further from the urban experience – exactly what young professionals need in order to unwind. A bunch of gargantuan, modern estates with pools instead of lakes and gardens instead of woods? Sounds like a city by a beach to us. And when was the last time Snoop played a concert in The Hamptons, hmm?
#NOTABLE
Want more updates on the most Notable things happening so you know before your colleagues do? Get our exclusive newsletter here and follow us on Twitter for all the latest.