An Indonesian man born just a few days before construction began on the Brooklyn Bridge has shared a revelation about longevity.
Staying off social media? Crossfit? Kale smoothies? It’s much simpler than that.
The key, he says, is to be patient. Wise guy – must be on the MedDiet.
Born on December 31, 1870, Mbah Gotho of Sragen in central Java was recently confirmed by record office officials as the the oldest person to have ever lived. All that’s needed now is third-party confirmation to cement his name in the Guiness Book of World Records.
He has outlived all 10 of his siblings, four wives, and children. He’s just three years younger than Canada, and all this despite smoking.
But does he practice what he preaches? Not quite. “What I want is to die,” the ironically impatient fossil told local media recently. Fair enough, pal, it’s a dark world out there.
While most of you reading this will have spent the last few decades trying to figure out where you fit in this world, Gotho’s has been putting in work to leave it. His grandson says he has been planning for his death since the tender age of 122 – the age of the officially confirmed oldest person ever, who died in 1997.
He even bought a gravestone in 1992 and has prepared a burial ground that, for his sake, we hope fulfills its utility soon.
Hunter S. Thompson was definitely onto something.
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