While we love our great Canadian cities, finding love in them can be challenging.
In fact, earlier this month, we posted an article about how arguably, things are worse than ever.
But “arguably” was the key word.
If you’re lucky enough to live in the kinds of energized, diverse cities that this country has to offer, then opportunity isn’t only knocking; it just made a copy of your house key.
If you’re sure you want a significant other, then much like chasing any goal, you’ll need to put yourself in a position to succeed. It’s gonna take effort, time, and will-power, but if you know the YP life, you know that pretty much describes anything that’ll make a difference – at least a good difference, anyway.
Here are the 14 things you need to do to maximize your odds of ditching the water wings and snagging a comfy deckchair on the Loveboat…
1. Re-evaluate Your Criteria
Chances are your checkboxes are stupid. Now, don’t get defensive – we’re not trying to be mean; we’re trying to be helpful. Most people’s criterion for partners aren’t even qualities of a person; more often than not they’re emotions or they’re a series of superficial accomplishments. Those types of criterion are missing the mark. Take some time to shave and revamp your criteria into a list of definitive behaviors and attributes that actually align with a goal of long-term respect, energy, and compatibility. Or just dunk the criteria all together and wing it for a while.
2. Stop Going to the Same Places All the Time
And by “all the time”, we mean even “50% of the time”. If you want to meet great new people, you have to force yourself to go to places and events you don’t normally attend. If you’re really picky about your venues and events then get over it; deflate your tires, chill out, and branch out. If you keep finding worms at the end of your line, you need to go fishing in another pond. 
3. Stop Hanging Out with the Same People All the Time
To a great degree, romance is a numbers game. There are likely hundreds of thousands of people in the world you would find attractive and with whom you’d get along nicely. The problem is, you have to meet them first. So ring up some old friends from college or accept that invitation to drinks from that goofy co-worker of yours. You never know who knows who. But first, you’ll need the right mentality…
4. Try to Make a New Acquaintance Every Time You Go Out
This is a great exercise. Next time you head out with a few new folks, interact and try to exchange information with at least one person who doesn’t seem like a serial killer. Chat with people you don’t know, even if it’s not particularly exciting and even if you have to answer the same questions three times an hour. You never know what kind of network people have and once this becomes a habit, you’ll be on one hell of a roll. If you don’t take an open approach, a lot of doors are going to stay closed.
5. Don’t Be Too Hard to Impress
You need to accept that nobody is always on their game; even you. Sometimes your personality is flat and while you don’t even realize it, sometimes you make a face like someone put teriyaki sauce in your coffee. So don’t hold other people to impossibly high standards. They’re just people and despite what your mother said about the clown at your 5th birthday, they’re not all here to impress you. Stop squinting, relax, and learn to enjoy the process of simply meeting new and different people. It’s not a job interview; it’s life.
6. Exercise and Eat Healthy
When you feel shiny, you act shiny. And this whole romance thing isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon. So start acting like you’re training for one. After an open mind, a clean system is the next most important thing for building confidence and getting to your A-game.
7. Scale Back the Alcohol Consumption (if applicable)
You’re not going to meet your wife playing flip-cup. Ok, maybe you are and that would be awesome. But you’re pushing your luck. You might think booze loosens you up but it also affects your ability to present the best product, not to mention the inevitable impairment it brings to your romantic judgment. If you want to get (or give) a decent look, you need to take off the goggles.
8. Ignore Your Friends’ Opinions for a While
Just for a while, do you and only you. Don’t worry what your pal thinks about your hair or what your “I’ve-been-with-the-same-person-since-I-was-21-but-somehow-I’m-an-expert-on-the-dating-world” friend thinks about your texting strategy. It’s hard enough cracking the shell of genuine compatibility without getting subjective peanuts flung at you from the gallery. Recalibrate everything by focusing on you and the people you might partner up with.
9. Remind Your Friends to Set You Up
Unless otherwise instructed, your friends are the marketing department of your romantic corporation. Their primary job in that corporation is to fill the sales funnel with as many leads as possible. Your job is to close. Often, marketers will get preoccupied admiring their own campaigns and then blame the sales team for not making enough cold calls. As the CEO and EVP of sales at YourOwnLoveLife Inc., sometimes you need to give marketing a kick in the pants and remind them of their responsibilities. If they’re continuously sleeping on the job, it might be time for some layoffs…
10. Take Notes
Successfully navigating the world of other human beings requires focus, introspection, constant adaptability, and improvement. If you just show up with a “take me or leave me” attitude, don’t be surprised if a ton of people leave you. You should always be learning something. If you’re not, you’re doing it wrong. Think of it like you’re trying to ace a tough class in romance, not just picking the one that the jocks take cause everyone passes.
11. Rely Less on Texting
As we wrote in an earlier article, we are not what we text. Texting should be used for minimal playful banter, making plans to meet, and – when you want people to leave you alone forever – sending gym selfies. The more you rely on texting to “get to know someone”, the more poor decisions you’re going to make about people before you actually know them. Kick it old school and spend as much face-to-face time with people as you can.
12. Get More Involved in a New-Ish Hobby
New activities mean new experiences and new experiences often mean new people. Whether it’s picking up something entirely fresh or ramping up your existing participation, a regular extracurricular is a great way to broaden your horizons. Plus, dig a little deeper and you’ll probably be amazed at how many ways there are to have fun with other people in your city.
13. Read About Relationships
New perspectives and data are important elements of your development as a more seasoned, rational participant in the world of romance. Whether it’s scientific studies, essays, or reading 50 Shades of Grey at an amusement park for comedic recognition, learn more about the facts and angles of the world within which you’re trying to achieve success. If we would read credible literature for even half the amount of time we spend talking to our bozo friends about relationships, we’d all be in a much better place. So if you really want to pick up your game, try picking up a book.
14. Stop Whining
It’s not productive and it’s not attractive. Go ahead and be skeptical; that breeds high-quality scrutiny. Nobody is saying you have to act like an airline stewardess on oysters and amphetamines. Things are going to get tough – but what doesn’t? Maybe it’ll happen soon, maybe it’ll be a while. What it probably won’t is happen magically and without any bumps along the way. So toughen up, stack up your confidence, and put in your work. Appreciate the experience for what it is and remember that if you stay motivated, you might not always feel like you’re sliding down a fluffy rainbow, but there’s usually enough gold to go around when all is said and done.
#NOTABLE
Cover Image from: GlobalGrind.com
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