So you’ve left your costume to the last minute. For the fifth year in a row.
Whether out of sheer laziness or because a spontaneous invite to a mediocre Halloween party was enough to claw you away from candy-dishing duty, you’re sitting there reading this with, like, an hour to put something together.
Fear not, for you shall not sink to the level of a 404 Error: Halloween Costume Not Found. Here are 13 last-minute Halloween costumes that don’t totally suck and are cheaper and easier than, uh, a pack of Rockets.
Guaranteed swipe rights and matches all night. As long as you don’t use any of these pick-up lines in person…
Ok, this one’s probably the most difficult given it requires a beard and a terrible landscape painting, but if you have those and you can be resourceful enough to land a brown afro on a whim, you can make this work. Surely you have a Canadian tuxedo handy.
Step 1: Have blonde hair. Step 2: Wear a white shirt over a coloured shirt. Step 3: Cut two holes around the nipple area of the top shirt. Step 4: Put those quotes you’ve memorized to good use.
Pick your favourite, print it, tape it to your face. Bonus points if you can pull off the poop.
A Ceiling Fan
You like ceilings? Great, cheer for one and revel in the pun.
Rosie the Riveter
For that effortless mechanic-chic look. Seriously, it’s effortless – all you need is a denim shirt and Little Red Riding Hood’s basket handkerchief.
50 Shades of Grey
No, not Christian. Literally. Find all grey things in your vicinity and wear ’em.
An American Apparel Ad
Works best if you own clothes from American Apparel and are comfortable wearing next to nothing in late fall – which you are, because it’s Halloween.
How you choose to portray empty cereal boxes as corpses is up to you. The important thing is you have boxes.
Like, a really terrible one that’s just you covered in a bed sheet. We feel like this one’s about to reach its second cycle of cool phase.
No one even really knows what Banksy looks like, so you can get away with just a hoodie and baclava/any face covering. You can even substitute spray paint cans with hair spray cans.
So irrelevant it’s awesome. Make sure to place the screen near your genital area for accuracy.