As if you didn’t know, Halloween is just five days away.
And while we’re sure one too many people are going to (inappropriately) dress up in something Ebola related, we’re keeping a safe distance from the virus in this list.
That said, here are 12 other costumes we feel pretty confident you’re going to see too much of between now and Friday night. And enough of them are already offensive enough in their own right…
1. Rob Ford
Oh, you know it’s coming. Expect lots of pillows-for-stomachs, crack pipes, “enough to eat at home” references, and maybe even some Rastafarian paraphernalia/accents. We can also envision a lot of pairs doing the Rob & Doug tandem costume. It’s way too easy, but we’re hoping that some of them will be surprisingly witty.
2. Spengler (Harold Ramis)
While perhaps not as popular as Venkman (played by Bill Murray), given Ramis’ tragic passing this year, expect to see a few homages to one of the most memorable characters from one of the most memorable movies of the 80s. The nice thing is that there’s a lot you can do with this costume (think: crazy-accurate backpacks and super-soakers filled with Cointreau or Amaretto Sours). So while you might see a lot of them, there will hopefully be some creative variability. We also wouldn’t be spooked to find some of the more provocative females giving it a bit of an “adult” twist…
3. Elsa (from Frozen)
Don’t be surprised if you see a lot of kids and grown women “Let It Go” this Halloween and glide around town as the beautiful Snow Queen. If someone dressed in this costume asks you for candy, definitely make them sing for it.
4. Mork/Patch Adams/The Genie/Mrs. Doubtfire/Any Robin Williams Character
“Na-Nu, Na-Nu!” Too obscure? Ok, how about, “You ain’t never had a friend like me!” Too Disney? What about, “Gooooood mooorning Vieeettnaaaaaaammmm!!” There ya go. There’s an endless list of characters this genius left behind and we suspect there will also be an endless number of people showing their costume respects. Two wishes we have: people actually paint themselves blue or rock the burnt chest on the Doubtfire costume.
5. Jay-Z & Solange (and/or Beyoncé)
This whole debacle was too funny/terrifying for couples not to get on board with some kind of Halloween representation. Maybe a fake leg attached to the guy’s groin? Perhaps some creative context, like an elevator frame or a mannequin for the third person? People might even go as the elevator. Either way, expect this dysfunctional crew to extend their On the Run tour for one last show on Halloween.
6. German Soccer Team
It’s easy, it’s highly recognizable, it’s relatively timely, it’s patriotic, and most of all, it’s annoying; the five key ingredients of an overplayed costume. We just hope this doesn’t continue for another three years. Extra points for people who go as their stylish, carefully-coiffured coach, Joachim Löw.
7. Justin Bieber
He got arrested, what, twice this year? And he’s only, what, eight years old? Between just the stupid hair, the stupid tattoos, and that stupid red deep-V mugshot shirt, there’s a lot of material here. You might even see some people go “Overboard” and go shirtless, wear fingerless gloves, or even bring a makeshift ATV to the party with a dummy on their back.
8. Ray Rice
Sticking with the irresponsible douchebag theme, there’s this guy. We’d rather not speculate on how people will take a swing at making this as offensive as possible, but we’re confident they’ll pull it off. Oh, looks like they already did. What is with nut-jobs and elevators this year?
9. Philip Seymour Hoffman
Not the easiest to pull off, but given how much people loved this guy and his characters, we predict a great number of valiant, respectful attempts. Things will likely cluster around Scotty J (Boogie Nights), Lester Bangs (Almost Famous), Father Brendan Flynn (Doubt), and Truman Capote (Capote). We’re crossing our fingers that nobody crosses any lines with this one.
10. Casey Kasem
“Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.” While this could be deemed worthy of only a vocal impersonation, he did have great hair, great style, and if you remember, a great résumé of cartoon voice-overs: Shaggy Rogers from Scooby-Doo, Robin/Dick Grayson from Batman & Robin, and Cliffjumper and Bluestreak from Transformers. This costume probably won’t be filling the airwaves, but it’ll definitely have at least 15 minutes of fame.
11. Malaysia Airlines
We’re not saying we condone it, and for something like this, it’s always going to be “too soon”, but don’t be surprised if you come across a bunch of people dressed as airplanes with the number 370 written somewhere, greeting you with a friendly, “Oh, you found me.”
12. A Drone
Between the strikes, the rumours about Amazon air-delivery, and a bunch of people actually buying the non-lethal versions, drones were a hot topic in 2014. We think that’ll translate into more than enough people rocking propellers, extra spider-limbs, and GoPros on their foreheads. Meh. That being said, if we see anyone fly into a party, we’ll be very, very impressed.