I’ve been single many times in my life and each time under different contexts. I’ve been single post break up, post friends with benefits, single by choice, single not by choice and so on. Honestly, with my busy schedule I’ve liked being single and only tending to myself but there were times when I felt a little shitty about being single.
What sucked most was the people around me when I was single – especially my friends in relationships who sometimes can say the wrong things.
Here are 11 things that either annoyed or offended me while I was single:
1. “Come out, there’s a bunch of single people from John’s work that’ll be there.”
Right, because I can only have fun and socialize with the hopes of meeting someone else who’s likely “miserable” and single.
2. “What do you mean you’re busy, what could you be doing?”
Oh right, since I don’t have a boyfriend, having free time that isn’t occupied by a partner can’t possibly exist.
3.”So, anyone new you’ve slept with?”
You know, ’cause you suck at relationships, I figured you must be good at one night stands.
4. “I mean, your +1 to my party can be a friend too, doesn’t need to be a boyfriend.”
Well Carol, thanks for specifying that. I was worried I’d have to take my cousin and dress him up as my date…
5. “What’s Tinder like? I didn’t have to use that.”
Contrary to the rumors and misconceptions, it’s not an orgy organizing app, not a place to find one night stands and not a nude exchange site. I mean it can be if you want it to be but it’s really not!
6. “You’ll find someone when you stop looking.”
Would you say the same thing to someone who lost their child in an amusement part or to someone who lost their keys? No, because you don’t find stuff when you stop looking for it.
7. “Good for you!”
Anytime someone in a relationship asks if I’m single and I say yes, they treat me like a puppy who just learned to stop wetting the carpet. Sometimes you’re not single because you want to be, and that’s okay – but talking to me like I’m a child is totally not.
8. “I need a girls night!”
Isn’t it funny that every time your coupled-up BFF has a fight with her boyfriend, she comes to you for a fun “girls” night? Just because I’m single and you’re not, doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten how to party and I’ve gained a PhD in the #turnt life.
9. “You just don’t get it, you’re not in a relationship.”
Please don’t assume that because I’m single, I don’t have the basic capacity to understand what you’re going through in your relationship or can’t relate. This one drives me insane because it totally reeks of smugness and superiority.
10. “I have this friend for you…”
“Friend” is an overstatement. Your ex-coworker who’s 13 years older than me and you haven’t talked to since you left the company doesn’t count as an eligible bachelor just because he’s single.
11. “You’re so pretty, how are you single?”
AKA does your personality suck?