The “Belfie” Stick is a Real Thing… and Society Has Officially Gone Too Far

We’re gonna make this quick because the more time we spend thinking and writing about this, the more prone we become to uncontrollable vomiting and blimp-sized aneurysms. 

Many of us by now have heard of a Selfie Stick. It has gained enough cultural momentum to warrant a Wikipedia page and a spot on Time Magazine’s 25 Best Inventions of 2014, alongside things like wireless electricity, a tablet that automatically translates sign language, and bananas that help African children avoid blindness.

No, we’re not joking. 

But since 2014 was The Year of the Booty (and who doesn’t want an excuse to ogle J-Lo’s 45-year-old (!!!) backside again?), the Selfie Stick just wasn’t good enough. Its engineering was flawed; it was great for taking pictures of your front, but a h-ass-le for taking pictures of your back.

Enter: The Belfie Stick – the latest innovation from the creators of the Flickr-Instagram-OkCupid-mashup, On.com

How does it work? 

Well, like a selfie stick, the device holds your phone at a distance and provides a Bluetooth button below your grip to remotely trigger a photo. The difference with the belfie stick is that at its centre, for optimal rear exposure, it has an arm extension with an adjustable angle, and similar to a Hummer SUV, you only buy one if you’re horrible.

According to the website, it’s “fun for all ages.” 

Riiiiiiight. 

We can’t stop everyone from buying a belfie stick, but at the very least, if you see a 14-year-old with one of these things, do the world a favour and call Children’s Aid.

Now if you’ll please excuse us, we need to sue Kim Kardashian and take a shower – we suddenly feel dirty. 

#NOTABLE

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