The Real Housewives of Toronto Episode 5: Bruised Egos and Broken Ribs

You know what time it is! That’s right, it’s time to dig into this week’s Real Housewives of Toronto drama. Last week Kara tried to make Jana, Grego & Joan puke on the water weiner as “revenge” for getting drunk and having fun at her not-a-bday-party-for-Roxy dinner party. Meanwhile, Ann the angel decided to throw Roxy a surprise party, seeing as Kara was so rude. Will anyone call Kara out?

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This week’s episode starts off with Kara complaining and milking her water weenie injury. While her evil plan was to make the hungover trio puke, she fell off the water banana instead and hurt herself. Karamaaaaa….. Before when Kara first fell, she seemed fine and was able to pull herself back up but all of a sudden she’s claiming to have a broken rib and calling on her three hoverboard boys (AKA her sons) to tend to her every need. Kara calls it a learning moment for them but we’re wondering if SHE is learning anything…

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Grego and Joan go shopping for lingerie, as it’s Grego’s 10 year wedding anniversary with her husband Pierre. Grego chooses a tiny white elegant number to go with the bridal theme, and calls Roxy to set up the birthday surprise.

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Kara goes over her CT scan with her doctor & talks about Tylenol 3s. It seems to be good news but Kara’s still upset because of course she is.

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Ann and Joan go shopping for a bday gift for Roxy and gossip about Kara’s dinner party. They decide on a pair of silver dogs at $1k a pop, but the ever hustling Ann gets a discount, as she should.

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Grego & Pierre have massages, get their nails done and talk about how wonderful their marriage is while drinking champagne. As Pierre said “right on!” They’re actually pretty cute.

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It’s the night of Roxy’s surprise bday and her husband has a hard time keeping it a secret from the looks of his face…

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…but they arrive and the surprise goes of without a hitch! Ann even put a mini Roxy & her dog Lola on the cake!

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Roxy loves the decorative dog gift but doesn’t love Kara video message in which she’s wearing a sling? Needless to say, the girls don’t believe her.

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Ann meets up with Kara to see what’s up and Kara continues to be very dramatic as she explains to Ann how she wanted to make the hungover trio throw up on the water weenie, but then asks Ann to invite them to her fundraiser for her.

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Ann doesn’t think it’s right of Kara to be so vindictive but then ask her to ask them for money for the AMBI Gala. She gifts Kara a fancy custom sling with a change bucket. Such a fashionable burn.

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Joan’s planning on hosting a girl’s day on her boat (of course she has a boat) and meets with her personal assistant Paul who is quite fun. Joan fills him in on all the Kara vs. Roxy drama so he knows what’s up.

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Joga Jana invites Roxy and Joan for some sound therapy, thinking they’re in need of some de-stressing. In the words of Roxy, “I’m up for lying in a room listening to cool sounds! ”

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At first Roxy has a hard time staying zen but then ends up having an emotional experience & decides to release herself from the negative energy. Joan also has an intense chi experience and tells Roxy about how Kara is invited to the yacht party, “since we’re in this healing space.” Jana doesn’t agree with Joan defending Kara and Roxy is still upset since Kara also unfollowed Roxy on social media.

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It’s girls’ boat day! Ann picks up Kara, only to see she isn’t wearing the sling she had made for her, which is suspicious. Jana and Grego head over to the boat party together and chant to a make the rain go away whilst sipping champagne.

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As soon as Kara arrives she’s mean & making jokes about Grego’s pretty head scarf, calling her a pirate. Kara also gives Joan a giant plastic champagne cup and water as a host gift, but it’s actually so insulting & super rude. All this and Kara doesn’t understand why no one wants to play with her? Ummm…. Come on girl.

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Jana calls out Kara’s sling but Kara is defensive as usual. Joan’s assistant Paul and Paul’s assistant Sam serve the ladies some champagne therapy to cut the tension. Grego starts talking about the time she had front row tickets to Celine Dion (of course she did) and Kara uses it as an opportunity to talk about her private shopping event, playing the charity angle. Jana think’s Kara’s self-serving and gets stung by a bee and Kara calls Jana a bee-otch. Ouch.

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Next week, Kara’s hosts the private shopping party at her house and leads Jana to the sale rack (RUDE!) & the girls escape on a Kara free adventure. Tune in to the next episode to find out what drama will unfold next & tweet at us to let us know your thoughts about The Real Housewives of Toronto! See you next week!