Quit These 10 Annoying Habits and Become a Better Human Today

Let’s face it: people can be really bloody annoying.

Whether it’s your colleagues irritating the hell out of you in the office, or complete strangers that are making you feel queasy 30,000 feet above the ground, the human race is certainly not lacking when it comes to its share of “quirks.”

To be clear: I don’t stand on ceremony here – I am guilty of many, if not all, of these irritating habits.

But admitting that we have a problem is the first step to recovery.

The second? Dropping these maddening customs like they’re hot.

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Biting Your Nails
Apologies for sounding like your mother, but the woman had a point. We all get anxious sometimes and perhaps you do it without even thinking about it. But nibbling your dead skin cells (yep, remember that) down to the quick is going to give you other things to worry about – use a nail file like every other sanitary human being.

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Getting on the Subway Before People Have Exited
Unless you possess super powers and are able to pass through another commuter’s physical mass, this is unlikely to go well for you. It doesn’t matter how desperately you want to grab a seat; trying to force yourself past a wall of people exiting from the train is never going to be OK. Just wait the three seconds for them to vacate before barging past them.

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Loud Chewing
This one should be self-explanatory, but in case you’re still in the dark, we’ll help you out. We know that the enzymes in your saliva are breaking down your food – we don’t need to hear about it too. If this is too challenging, kindly step away from the other human beings and finish chewing somewhere else. Pro tip: nothing you have to say is so important that we need to hear it while you’re finish your sandwich.

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Apologising to Inanimate Objects
Yes, you’re Canadian and you have a reputation to uphold as a nation of thoroughly polite citizens. But for our own sanity, can we all agree to stop saying sorry to the door that smacked you in the shin? The same goes for apologizing to someone when you both bumped into each other. Life is too short to get stuck in a never-ending sorry cycle.

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Using ‘Hashtag’ in Real Life
It’s too late to save the world from LOL, WTF or OMG – all of which are far too ingrained in our daily vernacular to ever hope to change. So let’s fight for a cause that could succeed: removing the use of ‘hashtag’ in verbal sentences. Saying “Hashtag Sorry Not Sorry” makes you seem like an alien who is playacting at being a human and has confused the real world with the digital one.

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Not Accepting a Compliment
Modesty is a wonderful trait to have – but spouting inane nonsense like “oh, this old thing?”, assuring people your outfit is at least five years old, you don’t remember why you bought it in the first place, and that you’re probably going to throw it out soon anyway is completely INSANE. Be a grown-up – accept the compliment, say thank you, and move the heck on.

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Putting Empty Milk Cartons Back
It’s not the cardboard carton of milk in the fridge we wanted on our cereal this morning – we were actually hoping for the contents inside. Putting back an empty/practically empty carton does not absolve you from blame. It’s also not a cunning ruse that will trick us into thinking we drank it all. Finish and replace – easy.

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Checking Your Phone For No Reason
We’re too obsessed with our devices as it is to be checking them when they’re not even vibrating or ringing. Stop trying to summon a text or notification out of thin air and try to live a normal life that includes breathing in fresh air occasionally. Buy a watch, put your cell in another room, or tape your hands to your sides – do whatever you must, but stop checking it every three seconds for the love of Apple.

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Talking About Your Diet
Whether you’re on a strict diet, or you feel the need to declare “cheat day!” after ordering a perfectly normal-sized meal in a restaurant, you are making one huge assumption – that everyone gives one solitary f*ck about how many calories you consume. Stop apologizing for enjoying your food because you’re making everyone else feel like they should too. Enjoy your Carbonara without a side of remorse.

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Stopping Suddenly in Public
Particularly in busy downtown areas, stopping dead still in an overcrowded public space is not only infuriating, it can be hazardous too. Put down your phone while you’re crossing the road or walking and have some damn self-awareness. Repeat after us: You are not a Smartphone Zombie; you are human being. An annoying human being, but a human being nonetheless.

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