The Bold and the Beautiful: Our 2016 Predictions for Politics, Entertainment and More in 2016

A wise person once said, “Since when can weathermen predict the weather, let alone the future?”

That man was Marty McFly. And in fairness, he makes a good point.

We should leave predictions of the weather and future up to mother nature instead of making wild guesses as to what may and may not be in the upcoming months.

But we think it’s way more fun to look into our metaphorical crystal balls and start guessing what the year of 2016 may bring. And while we’re not big gamblers here, just remember that if any of these predictions come to fruition, you heard it here first.

POLITICS

Hillary Clinton will be the President of the United States.
It was scary for a while back there, but by now we’re fairly confident that Donald Trump has given himself enough rope by insulting almost every community that exists. We sincerely hope that the tides are slowly turning in favour of less sensational politicians. It’s by no means a done deal for the former secretary of state, but Hillary seems to be the forerunner in this race.

Photo: Ethan Miller/Getty

Gun laws will be tightened.
In one of the most civilized debates on gun control in recent memory at the town hall debate, Obama tearfully outlined new measures to curb mass shootings and increase fire arms reforms. While the argument is still heated, we think laws will have to change to make it more difficult to obtain a weapon in 2016.

Marijuana will be legalized in Canada.
It certainly won’t be easy to make pot legal, but so far Justin Trudeau has made a name for himself as the PM who gets s**t done. He pledged to allow 20,000 Syrian refugees to move to Canada and recruited a multicultural and gender balanced cabinet “because it’s 2015,” so we can’t see 2016 being any different.

All major grocery stores will stock beer and wine.
Back in December Kathleen Wynne announced that beer would be sold at 58 locations across Ontario and we rejoiced. But we’re an ungrateful bunch, so now we want more beer… and wine, please. We’re confident we’ll get both in all major grocery stores by the end of the year.  

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FILM AND TV

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them will smash box-office records.
Everyone’s money is probably on Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice to create the year’s biggest box office boost, and comic book movies certainly have a great track record. But we think the Harry Potter spinoff may actually sneak past to be the highest grossing of the year. The last HP film hit the big screen back in 2011, so the anticipation is sky-high. And with hero of the moment Eddie Redmayne starring, it looks set to be huge.

Leonard Di Caprio will finally win the Oscar that he so deserves (and probably massively covets).
Every February we tell ourselves this is the year Mr. Di Caprio is going to bring home that little gold statuette. But this time we’re certain. Yes, he was outstanding in Wolf of Wall Street, but for The Revenant Leo went all Daniel Day-Lewis on us, filming in freezing cold locations and eating raw bison. Eddie Redmayne may put up a good fight with his role in The Danish Girl, but it seems unlikely to eclipse his performance last year as Stephen Hawking.

SPORT

The Blue Jays will make the World Series.
Hopes will be riding high this season after the Blue Jays helped the nation #ComeTogether this summer. The Jays will be pitching without superstar David Price, so they’ll need to figure out how the team can piece things together. And while we’re not sure they’ll be reigning champions, with MVP Josh Donaldson still in the roster, we think they’ll take it one step further and into the World Series.

The Golden State Warriors will be NBA Champions once again.
It may seem lazy to crown them our predictive 2016 champs of basketball, but when Steph Curry can play like that against a dominant LeBron James in the playoffs, it feels hard to imagine a more likely scenario for the upcoming season. Despite injury scares, their record-breaking 24 straight wins at the start of the season will make them hard to bet against.

The Toronto Maple Leafs will make the playoffs.
Optimistic? Yes. Foolish? Perhaps. They’re not the best team in the NHL, and the rebuild this season won’t leave too many feeling hopeful they can make it into the post-season. But they have some pretty solid forwards, and if the Calgary Flames can make it on good luck, then there has to be hope for all of us.

MUSIC

Kanye will finally drop Swish (and it’s going to bomb).
Love him or hate him, Mr. West is yet to release an album that bombed. Achieving the true honour of being critically-acclaimed and commercially successful across all six records means the stakes are high for Swish, which we predict will drop in 2016. But after hearing “Facts” and noticing Yeezy’s attention move away from music and towards entertainment, we’re not so sure this one is going to be such a hit.

Beyonce will release a new record.
Back in 2013 Queen Bey sneakily released her self-titled album in the iTunes Store without prior warning or promotion. A raft of great songs, a stadium tour with bae Jay-Z, and one very uncomfortable elevator encounter with Solange later, and here we are hungry for new music. But perhaps her recent seemingly non-promotional appearances (like her lip sync battle with Channing Tatum) are actually her slow build to an album release.

FINANCE

The loonie is going to get better (but not before things get worse first).
The loonie dropped more than 16 per cent in 2015 against the US dollar thanks to low oil prices and sluggish domestic growth. However, economists predict that things may get better later in the year – but unfortunately not before they get worse. So perhaps put off that trip to the U.S until later in the year (or 2017).

Photo: Jonathan Hayward/CP

TECHNOLOGY

The phone number will become completely irrelevant.
Wipe that smile off your faces, 416-ers, because Facebook Messenger boss David Marcus said that 2016 is going to be the year when phone numbers die. Thanks to smartphone messaging apps, it is now possible to communicate, send files, and receive money all without requiring a person’s digits.

Tinder will completely lose its mojo.
The pitfalls of the dating app have long been noted, but 2016 is the year we’re predicting the booty-call technology finally loses its popularity and kindly steps aside. With the introduction of Netflix and Chill and ghosting as standard in our daily lives, it feels like Tinder has killed all basic decency when it comes to dating. We’re looking forward to the next chapter in our millennial love-lives in 2016.

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